GONE
by Akaichi801
Summary: You wouldn't know exactly what you had until it's gone. That's what Tsukishima felt when he lost Yamaguchi. His best friend. The guy who had been with him almost all the time. The shy freckled boy who admired Tsukishima so much.


You wouldn't know exactly what you had until it's gone.

That's what Tsukishima felt when he lost Yamaguchi. His best friend. The guy who had been with him almost all the time. The shy freckled boy who admired Tsukishima so much.

If only he had been more, what, sensitive? Aware? Suspicious? - he doesn't even know - Maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't lost Yamaguchi.

Now that Tsukishima think about it, he realized it all started when he and Yamaguchi joined the Karasuno Volleyball Club. When the guy went to Shimada Makoto-san to teach him the jump float serve. When Yamaguchi started hanging out and talking to him lesser than usual. When the times that he comes over to Tsukishima's diminished.

He should have noticed.

He should have known by then that Yamaguchi was slowly drifting away from him.

But he had been so busy. What's with the school and club activities. Being in the college prep class is not a walk in the park - Yamaguchi should know this because he's in college prep class too - then there's the club practices that is more than enough to wore him out every single day. And honestly, the idea of losing Yamaguchi never crossed his mind. The guy is very much attached to him he was hardly seen without the other beside him. It seemed almost like impossible to separate them. But that was then.

And now, it's been eight years since Yamaguchi Tadashi left.

Eight miserable years without Yamaguchi. Without his weird but adorable freckles, his frequent "Tsukki's" (which Tsukishima missed the most to be honest), his quirks, his odd fascination to saggy french fries, his smile, his laugh, _his warmth._

He missed his friend so much. But he didn't cry (hell, no). However, he can't deny the sudden pain in his chest whenever he see Hinata and Kageyama happy together, being obliviously sweet and all. He can't help himself think about the "might have been's", the "what if's" and Yamaguchi.

If only Yamaguchi didn't leave, Tsukishima is sure as hell they'll be like Hinata and Kageyama too.

He sighed. His left elbow on the table, his chin resting on his knuckles. His strawberry shortcake left untouched. This is how he spends his usual night in the past eight years. Dull, boring, tedious.

And hours of thinking about Yamaguchi, obviously. Like just now.

He leaned back on his seat and stared at the ceiling of the coffee shop he is in right now. He just got off from his work and he doesn't feel like going home in his lonely house yet. Yes, house. He can't even call it his home. His _home _had been long gone.

_I wonder where Yamaguchi is now._

_Is he doing well?_

_Did he finish college?_

_Did he made friends? But knowing Yamaguchi's shy and awkward attitude, he maybe made only a few._

_Is he happy?_

_Is he... thinking about me too?_

He heard the ding of the coffee shop's bell signaling that a customer entered (or exited). But he isn't paying attention. He's busy thinking about Yamaguchi.

"One Vanilla Frappuccino and Caffe Americano, please. To go."

"Right away, sir."

"Thank you."

He was well known to be as the snarky bastard who love to piss people off. But when Yamaguchi left, people soon started to call him the cold-hearted giant. He shut people out and he became colder and more grumpy and sarcastic which made him all the more harder to approach. Less and less people tried to talk to him. Even the girls who had been swooning over him had been scared of him. Then people avoided him.

Except of course for his teammates - who perfectly knows about the sole reason of the sudden change of his attitude.

For the first time in his life, he appreciated his teammates' presence. Their bubbly and cheerful disposition somehow eased the loneliness he felt. But that was it. At the end of the day, when they go home after a tiring practice, he missed the single person he always with when he go home, calling him "Tsukki" with his adorable nervous voice mumbling a series of "sorry" even though he didn't do anything wrong.

Tsukishima felt a small smile tug on his lips. He remembered those quiet nights he had with Yamaguchi, both of them sharing a comfortable silence on their way home.

Those simple moments he never thought would someday be the most important to him.

"Oh, shoot! I just remembered I need to buy something at the convenience store."

"We can just buy that after this."

"No. Maybe I should go now so we can head home faster."

"But -"

"Tadashi."

Tsukishima froze as he was pulled back from his trip from the past. He can't recognize the voice of the man who said it but the name is so hauntingly familiar it almost made Tsukishima stopped breathing.

"Sorry, Taiyou."

Okay, now that one did it.

"Just wait for me at the car okay?" Then a cling of a door chime.

Tsukishima is seated in his usual seat near the counter (so he can easily call some crew for some refill) beside the glass wall where he kill his time staring at. His back is facing the door so he can't see who is talking.

But he didn't dare to move. If he look back, there's only two possibilities that awaits him: see the person he is expecting (more like, wanted) to see, or be disappointed when he see someone else.

To be honest? Tsukishima is _scared._

Scared that he might be wrong, that he just got his hopes up for nothing, and then he'll be back with his endless yearning for a certain freckled person.

_"Sorry, Taiyou…"_

_"Sorry, Tsukki…"_

He closed his eyes and felt his chest tightened. He can't bare it any longer.

"Here's your order, sir."

"Ah! Yes. T-thank you."

Tsukishima wanted to cry. That voice… is so achingly familiar.

"Please come again."

His heart is pounding so hard. He can't miss this chance. He looked away from the glass wall and into the counter. He saw the cashier smiled before she got back to her place next to the register. He then snapped his head into the door and see that same black greenish hair and the next thing he knew, he was out of the coffee shop, his one hand on the elbow of the other guy stopping them from walking away. _Again._

"What the -! Let me g-"

Surprised eyes stared back at him. His face looked a bit different from what Tsukishima remembered but hey, it's been eight years. Change is inevitable. But he cannot mistaken those adorable freckles for anyone else.

"…Tsukki?" he asked cautiously "I.. I mean, Tsukish-! Wait- What? W-w-w-why are you crying!?"

His panic mumbles turned into a sharp gasp when Tsukishima pulled him into a tight hug. Tsukishima closed his eyes and savored the warmth from the guy he longed to see for eight long years "Yamaguchi…" he whispered "God, I missed you. I missed you so much."

Yamaguchi melted in his arms and his hold on him tightened. Hands on Yamaguchi's waist and the other on the back of his head, Tsukishima inhaled Yamaguchi's scent. Nostalgia flooded his senses. Now he know why he's so adamant in seeing Yamaguchi; why in the eight long years they hadn't see each other, he never moved on; why he felt miserable when Yamaguchi left him; why he felt incomplete like a huge part of him was ripped from him.

It's because he love Yamaguchi.

He never realized it until now. He just concluded that it was because the guy is his best friend and they'd been together like forever that he's not used to being alone.

But now he knew.

He pulled away and cupped Yamaguchi's face. He didn't care if they're still outside the café and if someone or anyone is looking at them weird. They can fuck the hell up.

He longingly stare at Yamaguchi's face, saving the memory in his heart. Yamaguchi changed. He's more beautiful than the last time Tsukishima can remember seeing him. He cut his hair shorter accentuating his long lashes outlining pretty eyes, adorable dots from angel's kisses embellishing his beautiful face.

"T-tsukki… you're crying…"

Tsukishima smiled, didn't even bother wiping his tear-streaked face. "I don't know… I'm just happy."

Yamaguchi reached out, his free hand brushing Tsukishima's face wiping away those stubborn tears away himself. Tsukishima leaned closer to the touch, like a cat eager for more contact. He put his hand on top of Yamaguchi's and kissed his palm. "Please… Please tell me I'm not dreaming."

Yamaguchi smiled, "You're not dreaming Tsukki. What are you saying?"

"Oh god Yamaguchi, you don't know how I felt these past eight years. I missed you so much I thought I'm going insane."

Immediately, Yamaguchi's smile was gone and an unreadable expression took it's place.

"Why… why did you leave Yamaguchi? Why didn't you tell me?"

Yamaguchi now looked scared, he reflexively removed his hand on Tsukishima's grasp like he had been burned. He took a step back away from Tsukishima. "I'm sorry, Tsukki…"

"No! I mean, no, Yamaguchi. I'm not mad at you. But please, please tell me what was wrong. What happened? Why?"

Yamaguchi shook his head, "I'm happy to see you too, Tsukki. I'm glad to see you're fine. _Tsukishima._"

Yamaguchi turned his back at him, and started to walk away.

_No! I won't let you leave me again!_

"Yamaguchi! I love you-!"

"Tadashi!"

Yamaguchi and Tsukishima both froze on their tracks as another guy approached them. He's taller than Yamaguchi but still shorter compared to Tsukishima.

"What took you so long? I thought I told you to wait for me in the- oh, did I interrupt something? What's happening here? Who is he?"

"N-nothing! Um, Taiyou this is Tsukishima, a… friend. Tsukishima, this is Taiyou, um-"

"- His boyfriend."

"Taiyou!" Yamaguchi gasped in horror.

"What?" The raven-haired guy asked, innocently. "He's a friend right? So I don't think it'll be an issue, or is he homophobic or something?"

"No, no, it's okay. It's cool. I just… I'm just a bit surprised to know that Yamaguchi has a boyfriend now. We hadn't see each other for years after all." Tsukishima said, nonchalantly. But Yamaguchi knew better. Despite the long years they'd been away from each other, he still remember Tsukishima's attitude. He know Tsukishima like the back of his hand. And only he can do that.

A light of recognition flickered on this Taiyou guy's eyes, "Oh! I remember it now! I wondered why you look so familiar, you are _that _Tsukki! Oh, it's good to finally meet you! Little Tadashi here used to blabber things about you. He was so fascinated by you it almost made me jealous! Haha!"

Tsukishima looked at Yamaguchi who is _clinging_ at Taiyou, eyes everywhere but Tsukishima.

Tsukishima's heart felt like it's being ripped inside his chest. Eight years ago, he was the one Yamaguchi is clinging into. He should be the one wrapping his arms around Yamaguchi.

But things are different now. And it hurt.

"I see."

"Nice to meet you Tsukishima-san. But we really have to go now, it's getting late."

"Oh, it's okay. Sorry for interrupting your night. Yamaguchi," he whispered his name one last time, "I really did miss you, you know? I'm relieved to see you're fine." He looked at the other guy, "It's nice to meet you too, Taiyou-san. Please take care of Yamaguchi for me."

Yamaguchi looked at him, his pretty eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I will."

And Tsukishima watched them as they walked away. He watched as Yamaguchi leave him _again_, taking a big part of Tsukishima with him. But this time, other man is holding him, taking him away from Tsukishima.

He finally said his feelings to Yamaguchi.

But it's too late now.

He now has his _sun._

He wouldn't need the _moon _anymore.

***END**

* * *

><p>I don't know. I just wanted to <em>punish <em>Tsukki for hurting Yamaguchi (and I haha). He's letting Kuroo to flirt with him and I don't like it. So this happened. Sue me.


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